Last week I called the detective that came to the house that awful afternoon. He said he's worked on dozens and dozens of suicide cases. I asked him if there was a common thread among all of them. He said though you can't paint a single picture with all of the cases, the common theme was overwhelm with circumstances. They can't see past the blip in their life. All of it is heartbreaking because many times, it truly is a blip that would be forgotten about in a few days.

 

I went to a Christian high school that had maybe 70 kids in my class. I came in the middle of 9th grade after everyone had their friendships formed. I was the low income pastor's kid that lived in the next town, 30 minutes away. I remember many instances where I left the school day feeling lonely, embarrassed, and sometimes insulted. Once, someone turned around and asked me if I knew I had big ears. One time, someone wrote on the chalkboard in my next class something really embarrassing about me. I quickly erased it and wondered what the heck kind of Christian people these were. Even though I eventually made some friends, I could not wait to get out of high school. On the day we graduated, I remember many of the girls crying because this chapter of their life was over while I was celebrating that I would never have to go back there.

The teenage years are HARD.  Kids can be mean. And though Julian was not anything like me, being the good looking, well-liked kid he was, I think all of our kids are struggling in one way or another. The mean kid, the popular kid, the good looking kid, the seemingly happy, care-free kid...they are all struggling. I wish I could go back and have the conversation with Julian that suicide is NEVER the answer. That the teenage years suck but better things are ahead. Life is full of ups and downs, lots and lots of downs, but God is faithful through it all and we can learn valuable lessons from each of life's trials. That the teenage years seem LONG but they truly do go by in a blink of an eye.

 

But sometimes you can have all the conversations in the world and your kid still does something that you will blame yourself for.

 

Please take the time to have these conversations with your kid. Many people feel talking about suicide will put ideas in their head that aren't already there. This is false. They already know someone who is thinking about it, or maybe they have considered it themselves and you would never suspect it. Talk about what their friends and family must endure for the rest of their lives because of one impulsive decision. How their friends may end up needing therapy the rest of their lives because of the guilt they feel that they didn't see it coming or do something to stop it. Talk about the cost of it all, financial and emotional. Noy and I are more than willing to share our story with your teens.

 

And finally, you can not spend too much time on your knees for your kids. Pray for them like their life depends on it, because I'm here to testify that it does!

 

xo

Dawn