Thinking about our future without Julian is paralyzing. When my mind goes there, I have to pull back and remind myself that thinking about the future is off limits for now.
Every day is filled with sadness but not everyday is all sadness. I appreciate all the little things that bring joy that I may have taken for granted in the past. Birds singing, a warm day, a thoughtful text, a phone call from Maiza or Bella, evenings in the rocking chairs on the porch with Noy. I realize now more than ever that tomorrow isn’t promised and happiness truly begins with gratitude. 
“Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” Ps. 50:14-15
This reminder from writer, Kari Kampakis was so helpful to me today:
"God is found in the PRESENT. And one reason we often miss Him — and the joy in store today — is because we’re worried about the future, stuck in the past, or distracted by plans for tomorrow.
The enemy wants this. He wants to take our minds to dark, hopeless places and park them there. So when fears, worries, or “what ifs” consume you, know that isn’t God speaking. Chances are, the enemy is feeding you lies to make you doubt God’s goodness, sovereignty, and promises.
In The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis says that God wants us to attend chiefly to two things: eternity and the present. He writes, “In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity.” God wants us to obey the present voice, bear the present cross, receive the present grace, and give thanks for the present pleasure. There is a holiness in today that can’t be found by looking back or looking ahead, and the way to encounter God is to live in the present and think about eternity.
We miss God when we:
1. Dwell in the past — either through regret or constantly romanticizing what used to be, and
2. Fixate on the future — either through excessive worries or fantasizing.
The sweet spot is in the middle. To think about the future as it relates to eternity, but to focus attention on today and the present gifts - like a perfectly timed phone call, encouraging words from a stranger or loved one, a smile from a baby, happy news, a rainbow in the sky as you’re driving home, or inexplicable peace.
When the future has your stomach in knots, focus your mind on today. Give thanks, show love, and be present, looking for evidence of God’s hand in your life and asking Him to work out the details of the struggles that currently weigh you down." Kari Kampakis
The enemy wants this. He wants to take our minds to dark, hopeless places and park them there. So when fears, worries, or “what ifs” consume you, know that isn’t God speaking. Chances are, the enemy is feeding you lies to make you doubt God’s goodness, sovereignty, and promises.
In The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis says that God wants us to attend chiefly to two things: eternity and the present. He writes, “In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity.” God wants us to obey the present voice, bear the present cross, receive the present grace, and give thanks for the present pleasure. There is a holiness in today that can’t be found by looking back or looking ahead, and the way to encounter God is to live in the present and think about eternity.
We miss God when we:
1. Dwell in the past — either through regret or constantly romanticizing what used to be, and
2. Fixate on the future — either through excessive worries or fantasizing.
The sweet spot is in the middle. To think about the future as it relates to eternity, but to focus attention on today and the present gifts - like a perfectly timed phone call, encouraging words from a stranger or loved one, a smile from a baby, happy news, a rainbow in the sky as you’re driving home, or inexplicable peace.
When the future has your stomach in knots, focus your mind on today. Give thanks, show love, and be present, looking for evidence of God’s hand in your life and asking Him to work out the details of the struggles that currently weigh you down." Kari Kampakis
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